The Lizard Diaries, part 1.
The human got me out today. Didn’t even bother to knock.. or wait until I was awake for that matter. Just came barging in as if she bought the place! Not to mention that she was talking to me as if I was a child, or some kind of creature, personally, I find it quite rude!
Anyway, she got me out and started to point me at this giant pink thing with some kind of device that monitored my movement. I didn’t like this, felt like I was in mission impossible or something, so I stayed still for the most part. The human started talking to this move monitoring contraption, I already know she’s crazy but to talk to something that can’t reply, that’s just stupid!
During her mad conversation with the ‘thing’ she started waving me around, as if she was trying to hint to me that she wanted me to do something, so, I did, I jumped and attacked.. Well, by attacked I mean I sat on the pink thing and hoped it wasn’t going to try and eat me. The human didn’t like this, started shouting at me and telling me to “get off!” this confused me, one minute she’s prodding me to move around and when I do she complains, I don’t know, humans, you just can’t understand them!
200 years later she stopped talking to the pink thing and stopped waving me around, this gave me a chance to have a little wonder as I wasn’t clinging on for my life anymore, then, I heard the human say “oh, for f**ks sake Cleo, why start doing interesting stuff as soon as I turn the camera off you little goblin” I don’t know why she called me a goblin, as she knows I’m a gecko, silly human.
Eventually, she let me return to my home so I could get ready to party all night. Being nocturnal has its advantages, this is another thing the human moans about, it’s not my fault I like having some fun!
I ran up the wall and jumped onto my light, I like it up there, it means I can spy on the human when she’s not looking. She does some strange things, I don’t know what this ‘guitar’ thing she plays with is meant to do, but it’s bloody loud and I don’t like it! It scares me..
Anyway, that’s enough for my first entry, I hope the human doesn’t get too offended by my post.
Goodbye and much sticky feet loves,
P.s. Here’s a picture of me ‘chilling in my crib’.