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The Lizard Diaries, part 4.

So, this entry is going to be a short one as the human keeps moaning that I have to use her laptop all the time! Well, if she’s that bothered, she should buy me one!

Tonight has been pretty eventful, I’ve started a work out, I really need to get in shape as all the meal worms I’ve been eating are really starting to make me pile on the pounds!

Anyway, I reckon my workout is that good that I should make my own fitness DVD! It involves a lot of running around and jumping off fairly high surfaces, so it would not be a suitable work out for those who are at a tender age.

What you need to do is, you start at the bottom of your workout space For me, my workout space of choice is my vivarium. What you then need to do is start to climb up the side of the wall and hang from the top for a while, you then wait for your human to get nice and relaxed in bed and you drop your entire body weight to the floor making a huge thud. This will annoy your human, so you’re bound to get told off which will then get your blood pumping! I suggest you repeat that simple step until your human decides to feed you again in hope it will shut you up.



The Lizard Diaries, part 3.


The human came home today saying she had bought me some presents, I wasn’t too interested at the time because I thought she meant ‘presents’ that benefit her more than me. I was wrong, she bought me a new pot to play in AND some juicy, juicy meal worms! I do love the human sometimes.

Daddy-human tried to get me out of my vivarium but he scared me so I shook my tail at him. You don’t just barge into someones room while they’re asleep and start grabbing at them, it’s scary and rude! When I finally trusted him enough, I grabbed onto him, but as soon as I saw the human I jumped onto her, for some reason, she seemed less scary than usual.

I was allowed to have a little play on the bed with Daddy-human and the human while they took it in turns to tidy my room. I kept running up the humans arm repeatedly and sitting on her neck so she couldn’t get me, I found this fun and amusing, the human however, did not.

The human telling me off.

After a while, all the fun I was having ended up making me very sleepy, so I cuddled up to Daddy-human while the human finished tidying my room. I was nodding off next to Daddy-human when all of a sudden FLASH! The human had got that weird device out again, I think it’s called a camera.

Snuggle time with the Daddy-human.

When I got back into my room, everything had changed, I had a new floor, my logs had moved and I had a new pot. I thought to myself, I don’t remember entering myself onto DIY SOS! The human put me onto my new pot and I sat there for a while, I then decided to explore the rest of my newly decorated viv. As I went to jump onto my log, I missed and slid down the wall and landed on my side, this was really embarrassing, but it made the human panic, muahaha!

Sitting on my new pot.

The Lizard Diaries, part 2.

Humans man friend came over the weekend. He  is apparently called ‘Pete’ but the human always says he’s my Daddy, I guess the human is telling the truth, but he doesn’t look like a gecko, but then again, neither does the human. I’d call the human Mommy-human, but I think ‘the human’ makes me sound in charge.

I like Daddy-human, he sits with me and doesn’t shout at me when I poop on the humans bed. The human doesn’t seem to like this.She says it’s naughty and shouts at me. I’d say it makes me sad, but it doesn’t, there’s nothing better than pooping in comfort.

Daddy-human brought this weird object over, the human referred to it as a ‘camera’ which she seemed quite excited about. The camera object kept making this big, bright light that would make me go blind for a while. I didn’t like this, but it was making the human happy and it was nice for the human to call me nice things like ‘cute’ and ‘pretty girl’ makes me a happy gecko.

After about an hour of flashy camera lights, I started to get a bit bored and tried to escape away from the human, luckily, this worked and the human put the camera away and let me chill out on her bed.  The human had left Daddy-human in charge while she got ready to go out and when he wasn’t paying attention, I jumped off the bed and landed on the floor, unfortunately, I landed right next to the human, which got me into trouble.

I got put back into my house and the humans all went out. They thought I would just go and relax under my log but they did not know, it was time for me to party!

Anyway, below are a couple of photo’s the human took,


The Lizard Diaries, part 1.

The human got me out today. Didn’t even bother to knock.. or wait until I was awake for that matter. Just came barging in as if she bought the place! Not to mention that she was talking to me as if I was a child, or some kind of creature, personally, I find it quite rude!

Anyway, she got me out and started to point me at this giant pink thing with some kind of device that monitored my movement. I didn’t like this, felt like I was in mission impossible or something, so I stayed still for the most part. The human started talking to this move monitoring contraption, I already know she’s crazy but to talk to something that can’t reply, that’s just stupid!

During her mad conversation with the ‘thing’ she started waving me around, as if she was trying to hint to me that she wanted me to do something, so, I did, I jumped and attacked.. Well, by attacked I mean I sat on the pink thing and hoped it wasn’t going to try and eat me. The human didn’t like this, started shouting at me and telling me to “get off!” this confused me, one minute she’s prodding me to move around and when I do she complains, I don’t know, humans, you just can’t understand them!

200 years later she stopped talking to the pink thing and stopped waving me around, this gave me a chance to have a little wonder as I wasn’t clinging on for my life anymore, then, I heard the human say “oh, for f**ks sake Cleo, why start doing interesting stuff as soon as I turn the camera off you little goblin” I don’t know why she called me a goblin, as she knows I’m a gecko, silly human.

Eventually, she let me return to my home so I could get ready to party all night. Being nocturnal has its advantages, this is another thing the human moans about, it’s not my fault I like having some fun!

I ran up the wall and jumped onto my light, I like it up there, it means I can spy on the human when she’s not looking. She does some strange things, I don’t know what this ‘guitar’ thing she plays with is meant to do, but it’s bloody loud and I don’t like it! It scares me..

Anyway, that’s enough for my first entry, I hope the human doesn’t get too offended by my post.

Goodbye and much sticky feet loves,


P.s. Here’s a picture of me ‘chilling in my crib’.

Thinking about life and stuff..

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